Thanks for articulating this with such nuance. I’m curious about how you’d define “feminine mythos” and “masculine mythos” though. What myths, gods, and stories do you see emerging? And on a deeper level, why? And what might they be asking of us at this point in time?
And on a deeper level, what are we to do with masculine grief? Robert Bly describes male grief as the doorway to deep feeling and therefore the soul.
Perhaps tending to male grief opens the undeniable middle way that I see you maybe gesturing towards?
The Risk of Performative Vulnerability Is real in the blue pill movement… Some of this male tenderness feels… aesthetic. Stylized. As if men are performing feeling rather than embodying it. That’s a risk in any movement—especially one being shared on Instagram.
I’d like to hear more about your “direct” method. Because personally I dont think women want men to “look” emotionally evolved. They want them to risk emotional contact. There’s a difference.
In the Taoist symbol of yin and yang, there is a small dot of the opposite within each—a seed of otherness embedded in identity.
White holds a dot of black. Black holds a dot of white: we are not whole without some presence of the other.
Relationally, could this mean that the masculine and feminine energies are mutual containers for evolution?
Speaking as a woman, I wonder our role in the cultural/ mythological rebalancing act… lately I think it feels most important to grieve the fantasy that men risking the emotional contact will always feel clean, heroic, or romantic.
I can see this is my own tantric-adjacent counseling practice with men.
I make a fairly compelling argument that the ‘great sex’ they want to be having with their partners is contingent on their own connection with the so-called feminine aspects of themselves.
A man can’t connect deeply with a woman’s heart or body if he’s disconnected and contemptuous towards those parts of himself.
As someone that works directly in this place Alex there are valid points in this that I have witnessed, as well as having interrogated my own work on these lines. Where it becomes problematic is where the guru energy comes in with broad sweeping statements about where it all went wrong and what we can do to fix it. The sales techniques enter the chat at this point and the patriarchal machine kicks into gear. My final justification for working with men, though subject to and welcoming of change and progress through what I do, is that we hold a space within which men specifically can heal there traumas, which are many, varied and real. We're all 'entitled' to heal and though we can't get away from the masculine/feminine delineation, healing is healing, and when men take that healing on with the sense of self responsibility it appears to be a common net good. Mixed with unique cultural influences (I'm Irish so we draw on our unique history and culture) this again, appears to me through feedback and witnessing, to be a common net good. Love your work. D
Its made me realise that I don’t think men can move into the feminine nor women into the masculine, despite all appearances.
It is masculine to group together, to create groups and identify in terms of those collectives, crave to speak through those collectives. That is the patrilineal semen signature.
And it contains within it the desire for the feminine but is not the feminine. Labour changes and conditions may have more to say on how masculinity looks, embodied.
It is feminine to create the between-two. And to regulate space individually to a degree. It is often said that women’s feminine becomes more masculine when it enters certain work environments.
I don’t believe this is the case. I think sexual difference has a certain immanence to it that despite first appearances proves to be quite forceful.
There’s a lot of fantasy and symptom within the categories masculine and feminine, the search for a yin/yang equilibrium is entropy imo.
Does this have to do with how the word feminist feels positive and promotes equality for all, while the word masculinist feels negative and promotes subservience to men? Why is this? Or is it just a western socio-historical perspective?
Thanks for articulating this with such nuance. I’m curious about how you’d define “feminine mythos” and “masculine mythos” though. What myths, gods, and stories do you see emerging? And on a deeper level, why? And what might they be asking of us at this point in time?
And on a deeper level, what are we to do with masculine grief? Robert Bly describes male grief as the doorway to deep feeling and therefore the soul.
Perhaps tending to male grief opens the undeniable middle way that I see you maybe gesturing towards?
"Hegseth orders makeup studio installed at Pentagon"
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hegseth-orders-makeup-studio-installed-pentagon/
The Risk of Performative Vulnerability Is real in the blue pill movement… Some of this male tenderness feels… aesthetic. Stylized. As if men are performing feeling rather than embodying it. That’s a risk in any movement—especially one being shared on Instagram.
I’d like to hear more about your “direct” method. Because personally I dont think women want men to “look” emotionally evolved. They want them to risk emotional contact. There’s a difference.
In the Taoist symbol of yin and yang, there is a small dot of the opposite within each—a seed of otherness embedded in identity.
White holds a dot of black. Black holds a dot of white: we are not whole without some presence of the other.
Relationally, could this mean that the masculine and feminine energies are mutual containers for evolution?
Speaking as a woman, I wonder our role in the cultural/ mythological rebalancing act… lately I think it feels most important to grieve the fantasy that men risking the emotional contact will always feel clean, heroic, or romantic.
100%%%%
I can see this is my own tantric-adjacent counseling practice with men.
I make a fairly compelling argument that the ‘great sex’ they want to be having with their partners is contingent on their own connection with the so-called feminine aspects of themselves.
A man can’t connect deeply with a woman’s heart or body if he’s disconnected and contemptuous towards those parts of himself.
Furthermore.. as long as his own emotional and tender nature is exiled, he’s bound to turn his woman into his mommy, which is never sexy for long.
As someone that works directly in this place Alex there are valid points in this that I have witnessed, as well as having interrogated my own work on these lines. Where it becomes problematic is where the guru energy comes in with broad sweeping statements about where it all went wrong and what we can do to fix it. The sales techniques enter the chat at this point and the patriarchal machine kicks into gear. My final justification for working with men, though subject to and welcoming of change and progress through what I do, is that we hold a space within which men specifically can heal there traumas, which are many, varied and real. We're all 'entitled' to heal and though we can't get away from the masculine/feminine delineation, healing is healing, and when men take that healing on with the sense of self responsibility it appears to be a common net good. Mixed with unique cultural influences (I'm Irish so we draw on our unique history and culture) this again, appears to me through feedback and witnessing, to be a common net good. Love your work. D
Its made me realise that I don’t think men can move into the feminine nor women into the masculine, despite all appearances.
It is masculine to group together, to create groups and identify in terms of those collectives, crave to speak through those collectives. That is the patrilineal semen signature.
And it contains within it the desire for the feminine but is not the feminine. Labour changes and conditions may have more to say on how masculinity looks, embodied.
It is feminine to create the between-two. And to regulate space individually to a degree. It is often said that women’s feminine becomes more masculine when it enters certain work environments.
I don’t believe this is the case. I think sexual difference has a certain immanence to it that despite first appearances proves to be quite forceful.
There’s a lot of fantasy and symptom within the categories masculine and feminine, the search for a yin/yang equilibrium is entropy imo.
Does this have to do with how the word feminist feels positive and promotes equality for all, while the word masculinist feels negative and promotes subservience to men? Why is this? Or is it just a western socio-historical perspective?
Don't think it's directly related but definitely a current semantic issue