Jan 15, 2022·edited Jan 15, 2022Liked by Alex Ebert
Celebrating your arrival, and grateful for your breadcrumbs. This piece registers as a clear example of freedom rippling; I feel it stirring and weakening some of my own harmful filters. Boo to joy and lightness and celebration feeling scary and even embarrassing.
Glad to be here, and grateful for your brilliance over this last stretch. (apologies for the "brilliance" freeze; i'm just telling the truth as I see it).
I have experienced two slightly out of registered versions of my self: one is the clear diamondlike version I’ve felt in moments of meditation, the other is the personality littered with likes and dislikes, ambition and competitiveness. Neither seem complete but the former smiles patiently at the latter like a parent waiting for a child to catch on.
Interesting how often bits of Transactional Analysis get right to the point. When I was about 12 or so I read Harris's "I'm OK, You're OK" in the book stall of the local grocery store, having been dragged there by my mother but given nothing to do while she shopped. Its diagrams of communications patterns have stuck with me and put to good use ever since. Berne's "Games People Play" was interesting but I think I read it too late in life to have the same effect.
Given another thing in what you wrote, congratulations on not letting your father fat-finger your path through life! At 14 it takes courage. I dodged two such fat-fingerings from relatives but not till I was 20 and 22.
Read the times article, sounded worth checking out, signed on learn more bout this guy. Went & listened to some song I never heard of they said was famous- about "Home" -- not too bad, the chorus line stayed in my mind for several hours afterward. Lots of smart people around, but everybody has dumb regions of brain active simultaneously, so ... would be great if "bad guru" actually occasionally has something of interest to contribute. With the plethora of females scrambling to get in on the wanna-be-female-guru growth industry, ( did you see the stupid Marianne Williamson interview in NYTimes yesterday? Said the father of her daughter is of no importance? ) someone who calls himself bad guru and is serious about music could be worth hearing from.
Dear Alex, your hunger for truth, for meaning, for the understanding of the human condition is admirable. Especially leavened as it is with such self-effacement. That your reflections and insights can and do help others with their own inquiries is a goodness. Congrats on your NYT exposure! At the very least it will provide gobs of new grist for your mill.
But Stephen Tobin's injunction to stay with all emotions until they subside in order to be fully in the present as being Buddhist practice is not quite correct. Rather, it would be more accurate to say 'stay with the arisen emotion in a reasonably mellow space until it can be grokked as either impermanent, unsatisfactory or devoid of inherent self-ness (or any/all of the above). When done with a concentrated mind (such as after playing music), the resulting insight gives rise to Emptiness (Sunyata), the gateway drug to...more radical ego disassembly.'
The implication here being that the identity who is experiencing the emotional and cognitive ups/down of approval/disapproval is simply a construct. That in the seeing/knowing of this, Sunyata arises; which can be habit forming; but which can lead to a reassessment of said construct. Which is as about far as I've managed to go on my own inner journey.
Yay you! Hug the inner child! I'm so happy to hear words I relate to from someone whose music I enjoy. And all I got to read of that NY Times article was the first few lines before it tried to get me to pay for a subscription. I'm so glad to have seen it for the fact that I am now subscribed to your wonderfully introspective and philosophical newsletter!
I am very touched, Alex, by your willingness to be vulnerable and to own your own issues about being praised. I'm very familiar with Berne's work and use his Parent/Child/Adult concepts in my work with client as a psychologist but didn't remember what he said about "strokes." It reminded me of what Heinz Kohut the Self Psychology analyst said about mirroring: that one needed from birth throughout one's life. It helps us know we exist and a sense of existence is always an issue.
Your fear of being elated at positive strokes because of the certainty that there will always be a plunge into the opposite also reminds me of the Gestalt Therapy (and Buddhist) emphasis on staying with ALL emotions until they subside. If you don't do that, they hang around and prevent one from really being in the present.
Anyway, to get off my pedantic high horse, I am ecstatic that you are taking this tack. When Julie and I had lunch with you years ago in Portland, we knew you were guru material. I look foeard to reading more of your stuff.
Ahhh, I get this! The lifetime of 'equanimising' as if it's superior to allowing yourself to all the feels that honestly signify all the moments/events you experience, like your influx of subbers! Thanks for sharing your process, really helpful.
I understand the knee-jerk reactions to the headline, photos and copy that made it into the final edit. You get lumped into something like "pseudo-spiritual rock star pontificates." And that's probably true to a degree, but also, I feel your sincerity and honest look in the mirror that you're willing to actually share, in such a BriLLiant way I must add! Jokes aside- you're a great writer. I think our culture wants us to pick ONE thing to do, and just do that one this forever. Then you're predictable and peeps don't have to wrap their brain around you making an unfamiliar kind of art.
Alex, I've been a fan of Ima Robot since its eponymous album in '03. Admittedly, the NYT article gave me an opportunity to continue enjoying your observations albeit a different delivery modality. I'm looking forward to reading more.
WOO HOOOOO!! You are indeed a smart cookie :) congratulations in claiming your God given gift(s)! Not an easy task, as it involves denying the deceiver. But you did it :)
Celebrating your arrival, and grateful for your breadcrumbs. This piece registers as a clear example of freedom rippling; I feel it stirring and weakening some of my own harmful filters. Boo to joy and lightness and celebration feeling scary and even embarrassing.
Glad to be here, and grateful for your brilliance over this last stretch. (apologies for the "brilliance" freeze; i'm just telling the truth as I see it).
I have experienced two slightly out of registered versions of my self: one is the clear diamondlike version I’ve felt in moments of meditation, the other is the personality littered with likes and dislikes, ambition and competitiveness. Neither seem complete but the former smiles patiently at the latter like a parent waiting for a child to catch on.
Interesting how often bits of Transactional Analysis get right to the point. When I was about 12 or so I read Harris's "I'm OK, You're OK" in the book stall of the local grocery store, having been dragged there by my mother but given nothing to do while she shopped. Its diagrams of communications patterns have stuck with me and put to good use ever since. Berne's "Games People Play" was interesting but I think I read it too late in life to have the same effect.
Given another thing in what you wrote, congratulations on not letting your father fat-finger your path through life! At 14 it takes courage. I dodged two such fat-fingerings from relatives but not till I was 20 and 22.
Straightforwardly:
I was brought here by people making fun of you — "grift to grift," etc.
I am anything but a fan of hootin' 'n' stompin' n' clappin' music.
I'm skeptical of New Orleans transplants.
(I am a Los Angeles transplant, quarry in the Chemosphere, I know)
I was primed to Sneer.
Instead, I find:
Your voice/POV are interesting and well-conceived here.
Subscribed, look forward to seeing where it's going.
Read the times article, sounded worth checking out, signed on learn more bout this guy. Went & listened to some song I never heard of they said was famous- about "Home" -- not too bad, the chorus line stayed in my mind for several hours afterward. Lots of smart people around, but everybody has dumb regions of brain active simultaneously, so ... would be great if "bad guru" actually occasionally has something of interest to contribute. With the plethora of females scrambling to get in on the wanna-be-female-guru growth industry, ( did you see the stupid Marianne Williamson interview in NYTimes yesterday? Said the father of her daughter is of no importance? ) someone who calls himself bad guru and is serious about music could be worth hearing from.
Theodore Roethke: Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among the mysteries.
Dear Alex, your hunger for truth, for meaning, for the understanding of the human condition is admirable. Especially leavened as it is with such self-effacement. That your reflections and insights can and do help others with their own inquiries is a goodness. Congrats on your NYT exposure! At the very least it will provide gobs of new grist for your mill.
But Stephen Tobin's injunction to stay with all emotions until they subside in order to be fully in the present as being Buddhist practice is not quite correct. Rather, it would be more accurate to say 'stay with the arisen emotion in a reasonably mellow space until it can be grokked as either impermanent, unsatisfactory or devoid of inherent self-ness (or any/all of the above). When done with a concentrated mind (such as after playing music), the resulting insight gives rise to Emptiness (Sunyata), the gateway drug to...more radical ego disassembly.'
The implication here being that the identity who is experiencing the emotional and cognitive ups/down of approval/disapproval is simply a construct. That in the seeing/knowing of this, Sunyata arises; which can be habit forming; but which can lead to a reassessment of said construct. Which is as about far as I've managed to go on my own inner journey.
Yay you! Hug the inner child! I'm so happy to hear words I relate to from someone whose music I enjoy. And all I got to read of that NY Times article was the first few lines before it tried to get me to pay for a subscription. I'm so glad to have seen it for the fact that I am now subscribed to your wonderfully introspective and philosophical newsletter!
I am very touched, Alex, by your willingness to be vulnerable and to own your own issues about being praised. I'm very familiar with Berne's work and use his Parent/Child/Adult concepts in my work with client as a psychologist but didn't remember what he said about "strokes." It reminded me of what Heinz Kohut the Self Psychology analyst said about mirroring: that one needed from birth throughout one's life. It helps us know we exist and a sense of existence is always an issue.
Your fear of being elated at positive strokes because of the certainty that there will always be a plunge into the opposite also reminds me of the Gestalt Therapy (and Buddhist) emphasis on staying with ALL emotions until they subside. If you don't do that, they hang around and prevent one from really being in the present.
Anyway, to get off my pedantic high horse, I am ecstatic that you are taking this tack. When Julie and I had lunch with you years ago in Portland, we knew you were guru material. I look foeard to reading more of your stuff.
It’s this humanness that I seek for myself and in others. Thank you for sharing your very relatable process.
Ahhh, I get this! The lifetime of 'equanimising' as if it's superior to allowing yourself to all the feels that honestly signify all the moments/events you experience, like your influx of subbers! Thanks for sharing your process, really helpful.
I understand the knee-jerk reactions to the headline, photos and copy that made it into the final edit. You get lumped into something like "pseudo-spiritual rock star pontificates." And that's probably true to a degree, but also, I feel your sincerity and honest look in the mirror that you're willing to actually share, in such a BriLLiant way I must add! Jokes aside- you're a great writer. I think our culture wants us to pick ONE thing to do, and just do that one this forever. Then you're predictable and peeps don't have to wrap their brain around you making an unfamiliar kind of art.
I'm glad you did the NY Times article. I'm glad I found you & your writing & wit. Be Happy! Be the light that helps us see through the Covid pandemic.
"Here's a story for the kids!"
Alex, I've been a fan of Ima Robot since its eponymous album in '03. Admittedly, the NYT article gave me an opportunity to continue enjoying your observations albeit a different delivery modality. I'm looking forward to reading more.
Be well!
Dave
This piece had my partner and I clapping, tearing up, and healing. Grateful for your generosity of spirit
WOO HOOOOO!! You are indeed a smart cookie :) congratulations in claiming your God given gift(s)! Not an easy task, as it involves denying the deceiver. But you did it :)